Kate Carnes

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Contraception

I haven’t looked back to check and see if I have talked about this before…….but……. something that pops up in my head every now and then is the subject of population…… What I don’t understand is that some are complaining about overpopulation yet young people are not allowed to have procedures to stop from having children. You have to be over 23 or have so many kids before they will even consider it. But I say that is crap. If I can decide to have an abortion at any age then I should be allowed to have a surgery to stop myself from having children if I want to at any age. What I want to know is why? Why can’t anybody have surgery – tubal ligation, vasectomy – at any age? In the long run isn’t it either the same as the cost of contraception, abortion, or anything else? I just think it’s messed up. It takes away our rights as women to make this decision and men for that matter……… I say if we can have abortions then we should be able to have surgery not have children too!

Posted April 24th, 2014.

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Get Over It

I had this 4 or 5 paragraph post today fussing about the beliefs of other people and how it effects me. What they think of me. My new “realizations”, lolololol. How the ones I thought believed in me or at least believed me, didn’t, don’t, probably never will (about what happened to me two years ago. Oh yeah, I had a nervous breakdown. Seriously?) They weren’t me, aren’t me, and if they want to believe what some doctor said over me, or some societal preconception of people then they can go right ahead.

I am tired of feeling that I’m not believed, that I some mental breakdown. I have to get over it. It just hurts mostly. After everything I have done in my life you would think they would believe me when I say I had a bad reaction to the meds they gave me at the dentist. But noooo. Just because it wasn’t a typical reaction they are used to. Really? Uh, science is ever changing…. The world isn’t flat anymore. Not like I haven’t gone over doctors before and after years of persistence got the right diagnoses for my children. No, I have no idea what I am talking about here.

But, like I said it just hurts mostly……… And just when you are finally finding the better words…….or pics with quotes to express yourself because you can’t seem to communicate with other people……it’s oh……..all these new realizations………….come on? It’s not my fault others have difficulty communicating with me. Let me put it this way….. It’s not my fault others do not understand me! I seem to be able to understand others just fine……… How do I know you ask?…….. They tell me. I can repeat back to them what they mean in my own words. When I talk about things I know or that interest me; I lose them, they just look at me with a blank stare, or get bored because they have no idea what I am talking about, and/or don’t care. Or this one, I’m crazy. AHHHHH, lol Just because I’m not understood. That’s o.k. because they are people (about 7 billion other) out there that may and some do. And that’s why I am content. Because I am not alone.

And I have found what I have been looking for, had found, and am content……. it’s just hurt feeling I feel like I got to get over. I feel like I am still in the dark ages here!!! This should probably be on my other blog, but I am putting it here instead. Just cause

Posted April 4th, 2014.

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What’s Up

You know after about two or three years working on this blog, I kinda think it represents how I do things. Keep slowly working on it, not always consistent. Have lots of time constraints. pretty random…….. But I don’t give up, I change here and there, well, some things anyway. i like to think of it like my core stays the same I just try on different things, outfits, experiences, etc. Like what’s next, wooo hooo.

At 34 I want to say you spend your childhood having fun, it’s like you know exactly who you are. No problems. Experiencing the world the whole time. You get a little older, people start telling you about the world, you have to do this, do that, should be like whatever, listen to what they think you should. You spend your teenage years confused by what’s happening to your body, lol. Fighting any and all authority, whether you show it, admit, or do it openly. Your adult years are like here ya go….do whatever…..you leave one set of rules (which looking back are a lot easier) to another. You meet all sorts of people with all sorts of ideas of how they think life should be. You get kids, jobs, bills, life, blah, blah, blah…..

Thirties, you begin to say hey, what is wrong with who I am. Maybe I want to just ignore what everyone has told you what things should be and just be like it was when you were a kid. Or can you even remember anymore? Well, I know I can. But now I have so much more available to me. Much more at my disposal. You begin to find there are people out there like you……you feel normal……well, normal in the sense that there are others that are like you. You fit in somewhere. You are normal to them, lol. I guess. Well, ok anyway, lol. It’s like I was listening to the Q100 the other morning and they asked people to call in about fits the had thrown just because, lol. Oh it was so funny. This one lady, wanted some sort of ice cream or smoothie from say Mcdonald’s and her husband went to another restaurant and bought it. He gave it to here, she just threw it our the window. lol One lady did something so bad her and her boyfriend broke up. I wish I could remember more. They were so funny. That show does have some good stuff on it. And listening makes me feel like hey, yeah i did something like that maybe I’m not so weird, or bad, or whatever.

It’s just life, people making you feel bad or acting like your weird or not being a well adjusted adult for doing things like that…………this is what I say, so what. Sounds like a normal thing to do. Just because we are adults doesn’t mean we can’t act 5 every now and then. It’s when people act like that all the time is when there is a problem or really hurt people, well, physically is what I ‘m thinking anyway. Just clarifying that………… Well, enough for now. TTYL or some other day, probably not any time soon. But ya never know, lol Random thoughts……..

Posted March 19th, 2014.

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Whatever

Another day, another time, shit is just not going to end or seem to get better………..
You say what’s on your mind, try to live your life, say how you feel and it does no good. It just don’t seem to matter anymore or anyway. You just wish that you would have been accepted for who you are……… or were, or changing into, or whatever. Nobody accepts anybody anymore. Nobody is allowed to develop, change, or be themselves. So who cares…………..

What do you do to get back anything????????????

Make anything better???????????

Posted February 6th, 2014.

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Rainy Day

Don’t you just feel like saying please just shoot me sometimes? I know I do. OMG! Humans have this never-ending ability to shock you. Why? I am so ready to get of this planet. I guess I am just going to have to wait my turn. I will keep myself occupied with my children and daily life until that wonderful day comes. I am so tired of the bull $#*%. You think it would end one day. It doesn’t. That’s ok though. I have a lot to do to keep my mind of the crap that is filling my bubble so to say. Never ending daily things to do. The people around you doing things that would shock the hell out any normal person (what is normal though?).

 

I am just so tired of it and am glad I have found a way out and cannot wait until that day. I say way out; I mean a plan to better my life (fingers crossed, lol). Not that it will take away the problems in my life it will just make it to where it doesn’t matter so much. 🙂 I know I am being very negative and this is the third time I have tried to write something today that didn’t sound sooo depressing. We all have those days I suppose; it’s just not letting it get ya down for too long that counts. Plus it’s rainy too. It has also been a few hectic weeks lately. Two surgeries for the kids, family drama, and blah, blah, blah. Anyway just checking in. Hope my next few posts will be happier……….

Posted September 24th, 2013.

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